Use Whatcha Got: Week 20 –True Confessions

Posted on May 14, 2013 by vivianmabuni

This post has been a long time coming. Here we are dipping into the month of May. Wait. Almost halfway through May! I had to pull out a calendar and count the weeks. I haven’t been posting about Use Whatcha Got. Of course, I could present to you these excuses:

“I’ve been out sick.”

“I’ve been out of the country.”

“I’ve been busy writing about other stuff.”

And these would all be true.

But the truth is: I broke down and bought a skirt.

I first set eyes on the skirt back in November. I went shopping with my sister in law, Esther, when she came in town. We were wandering around the Gap. I was working my way through the clearance rack and came across this fantastic, super soft, black, NO IRONING NEEDED maxi skirt. Pull it up and it becomes a dress. Stretchy, comfy. Perfect for traveling. Perfect for dressing up and dressing down. Just exactly what I had been looking for. When the salesperson rang it up at the cash register, it was discovered that the skirt had been wrongly placed in the clearance rack. It rang up at full price. I just couldn’t do it. The grey one, exactly the same but two sizes too big, was half off. So I said no.

I returned home and instantly regretted not picking it up. I mentioned it to Darrin. He, of course, said, “You should go get it.” Weeks later when I was back in the mall Christmas shopping, I looked for the skirt but it was gone. I looked online. It was out of stock. The skirt was the one thing I wanted for Christmas, but I couldn’t find it anywhere, at any store.

Fast forward to two weeks before we left for Central Asia. I had been thinking about how I still wished I would have picked up the black skirt because it would have been the perfect travel skirt. I opened up my computer and for some reason (truly I’m not sure how it happened!) my browser window opened up to the Gap online store. And there in bold letters across the top “Anything ordered today online 30% off. Use code: blah blah.” I clicked to find the black skirt I had wanted. It was in stock, in my size.

Oh the tension.

My thought process went something like this:

“Oh. The skirt. I really want the skirt. But I’m committed to Use Whatcha Got. What to do? What. To. Do?”

Drumming my fingers on my chin, I thought, “Well, I could pull another “it’s a gift from Leila.”

See, over a year ago Leila and I found ourselves (truly I’m not sure how it happened!) in the Kate Spade outlet store. We both fell in love with this iPhone case.

We looked at the phone case longingly and both said, “Love. Looovvve. Even though it’s on sale, I just can’t get it.” We nodded in agreement. Then sighed. Then I’m not sure if it was her or me, but one of us said, “Wait. I can’t get it for me. But, I could get it for you.”

“And I could get it for you!!”

We smiled big. So satisfied with our brilliance. The girls working behind the counters thought we were brilliant, too.

We floated out of the store matchy, matchy with our iPhone cases to each other, from each other.

So, I knew Leila would be more than happy to buy the skirt for me, if I asked her.

Then I thought, “Surely this is a GOD THING. I mean, I don’t even know how the browser opened up to the Gap Online. And a coupon for just that day. Thirty percent off? It must be a sign…”

Before I could change my mind, I ordered it online in time for the trip.

The package arrived and remained unopened for several days.

Oh the tension.

Finally I ripped open the packaging. Yes. Yes. No doubt about it. The skirt was exactly perfect.

I felt angst. Back and forth, back and forth, between delight and guilt.

“What will Kimberly and the other Use Whatcha Gotters think? What will Julia think?”

Then came a long train of justification and rationalization attempts.

“I’ve gone almost five months without buying a single piece of clothing. One skirt. C’mon. What’s the big deal?”

“It’s not like I’m hurting anyone by buying a skirt. It’s not like it’s SIN or something serious like that.”

“I still have another EIGHT months ahead where I won’t be buying anything.”

“I’m sure I could find 5,000 people who have bought much more than one skirt since the beginning of the calendar year. I’m actually pretty impressed with myself to have gone so long.”

And on and on.

In the end, I realized I have the ability to twist things any way I want to make a situation look better than it really is. I can compare to others, I can promise away future actions, I can minimize, make excuses, I can find loop holes. I can flat out give up. I can do all sorts of things to try and make myself look better than I truly am. But all of the justification, rationalization is exhausting.

And once again I find the Bible to be true. Rather than getting tied up in knots while trying to conjure up loop holes, I can implement what I have tried to do in other scenarios and simply confess.

The word confess is made up of two greek words: homo and logeo.

Homo means “the same.” Logeo means “to say.”

Confess means to say the same. No excuses, “but’s,” rationalizations, explanations. It means bringing out what was hidden into the light.

I blew it. I didn’t make it flawlessly through Use Whatcha Got. I bought a skirt (and full disclosure, bought a scarf, ring and t-shirt in Central Asia–each had significance and meaning and were tangible reminders of a trip I never want to forget).

And though I don’t think the purchase fits in the “sin” category, I think the parallels to confession when we sin are important to note.

None of us will make it through life flawlessly. We blow it all of the time. How this underscores my need, our need, for Jesus’ offering of forgiveness “once for all” (Hebrews 10:10-12 *the whole chapter is crammed with great truths). By “saying the same” about our sin; first that it is sin and second that it is forgiven, brings about healing, restoration and an ability to walk in freedom. The first step is sometimes the hardest. Admitting we have blown it requires a person to swallow their pride.

Some of you who are strictly adhering to Use Whatcha Got, may be feeling betrayal. If that word is too dramatic, then perhaps disappointed is more fitting. Those feelings are completely understandable. I am sorry for breaking from our pact. Please know I am back and seeking to finish the next eight months following UWG. Maybe not perfectly, but I will not give up.

We are all in process. And in life I hope to be one who, after blowing it, comes first to my heavenly Father and brings my sin and shortcomings and then brings those failures into the light in safe relationships where I can experience healing and restoration. (James 5:16)

Confession. Forgiveness. Restoration. Freedom.

Thanks for taking the time to read. I’d love to hear how UWG has been going in your life.

Highest Praise For Nurses

Posted on May 9, 2013 by vivianmabuni

This past Saturday I had the honor of sharing my cancer story at the Sigma Theta Tau International Honor Society of Nursing for the California State Long Beach Induction Ceremony.

When I was first invited by Melissa, my dear friend and gifted nurse and Professor of Nursing at CSULB, I didn’t have to think twice. My respect and appreciation for nurses is off the charts after my cancer battle. I jump at any opportunity to thank and encourage nurses. Turns out this week is Nurses Appreciation Week. So I wanted to dedicate this post to all the magnificent nurses who are making a difference in the lives of countless individuals and families.

I ended my talk with an excerpt from my book, Warrior In Pink, and wanted to share it here as well. Dedicated with deep respect and gratitude to the new inductees to the Nursing Honor Society as well as my personal nurse hero friends: Nicole, Melissa, Sherri, Bessie, Meghan, Mandy, Terry, Jacqui, Aunty Hilda, Cora, Tien, and many, many others…

Throughout my cancer treatment, I was most impressed with the many nurses who tended me. My doctors were incredible, but it was the nurses who were the heart and hands of healing. I had the most contact with the nurses. They answered my questions, returned my calls, offered suggestions, and walked closely beside me. They helped me know what to expect, what to look out for; they were the accessible ones, the personal lifeline when treatment felt confusing or uncertain. They possessed not only the extraordinary intellect to understand the complex human body, but they balanced their vast knowledge with compassion and the ability to move toward people and into pain.

As the length of my medial treatment grew, so did my respect and appreciation for nurses. The women and men who dedicated their lives to walking with their patients–who took the time to comfort, inform, explain and encourage could only be described as sheer awesomeness. And to this day I have this uncontainable enthusiasm when I hear of college students deciding to pursue the rigorous route of becoming a nurse. It’s a worthy calling. (excerpt from “Warrior In Pink” chapter 4)

Hug the neck of a nurse and tell them “thank you” today! And feel free to share this post with other nurse heroes you know…

Halfway Around the World

Posted on May 8, 2013 by vivianmabuni

The jet lag and cold medicine worked together in tandem. At different points during our four hour bus ride out of the city I would find myself suspended between a dream state and the reality of being halfway around the world. And there, in the half awake, half asleep state with my eyes closed, I would hear women speaking different languages, or speaking English with different accents. Now back on this side of the world, I find myself wondering: Did we really travel halfway around the world? Was it all a dream?

I stop during the times when it feels like Central Asia was a lifetime ago and close my eyes. My heart returns halfway around the world and I picture the faces and hear again their voices. Beautiful women, women of character, courage and depth. Their different accents represented different countries: Brazil, Finland, countries in the Middle East, New Zealand, South Africa, Norway, Australia, Trinidad, Canada, Central Asia, England, Russia, and from all across the United States. Fifty-two women. Six infants. Different sending agencies, different life stages, teachers, business women, expats in the oil industry. The group was mostly composed of women who had lived and worked in a different land, for different lengths of time. They were at different places in their spiritual journeys, carrying various life experiences, some carrying deep pain and disappointment.

I was tasked to teach from the Bible and share my life and journey with them. I taught from one of my favorite passages of Scripture: John 15. The theme was Abiding in the Vine: Revive, Renew, Remain. I taught about all the things closest to my heart.

Leila, wondrously gifted in asking questions and listening, met with women during the afternoons for spiritual direction and led times of guided prayer during personal reflection time. Her years and experience studying Spiritual Formation at Talbot Seminary blessed the women with both space and skill in navigating the deeper places of the heart.

Before we left this side of the world, we invited a group of prayer warriors to pray and fast for us. We sent them our schedule. Their prayers and the prayers of so many made all the difference on the other side of the world. My cough kept me up most nights. I coughed through meals, conversations, everywhere, all the time…EXCEPT for when I spoke. Several women commented their surprise about the talks being cough free. It was as if an angel covered my throat and kept the cough at bay.

Unlike here, on this time conscious side of the world, where conferences are broken down to the minute, and speakers have time keepers, I never once looked at my watch when I got up to speak. This gave room and space for me to go off on rabbit trails, elaborate on stories, and not feel rushed to squeeze everything in. It was pure joy to speak at this retreat. I was reminded so clearly, with a room full of women from countries around the world, that God is not an American. And I was also reminded that the truths from the Bible transcend language, time and culture. I felt honored and humbled to have time with these heroes of the faith. And in my heart I sensed God giving a nod of confirmation in this international setting to continue to teach in different capacities with different audiences and contribute to Kingdom building through speaking and teaching.

Our accommodations were top notch. Turns out, because it was off season, the five star hotel was cheaper than staying in the city at a Ramada Inn. Both our husbands thought we would be at some kind of campsite using outhouses. Leila and I were giddy with happiness as we sunk into our comfortable beds and looked out at the view of snow capped mountains outside our balcony. Meals were prepared by the hotel. I tasted flavors I had never known.

The initial invitation to come and speak at this retreat came from Jenni a year ago last May. Darrin and I met Jenni almost 20 years ago when she was a student. Now she is an incredible mom of four girls, speaking the language, driving like the nationals and skillfully dodging potholes and cars that don’t really use lanes. She has lived through winters with frozen pipes and no hot water and has come to love this country she lives in. Jenni took Leila and me around the city for several hours after our bus returned and before our flight took off. Time with Jenni, seeing her world, watching her warm up soup in her kitchen, overhearing her conversations with her kids and husband, seeing how God has worked in her life and the woman of character, depth, maturity and excellence and beauty she has become was my personal highlight. A close second was traveling and ministering with Leila.

Thank you to all who prayed for us. Thank you especially to Darrin who not only took care of me and the kids the entire week before the trip while we were all sick (seriously, it looked like a MASH unit downstairs with me passed out on the bed and each kid on each couch), but then he came down with the same virus the week I was gone and still held down the fort.

This trip, and the many wonderful people I met, the country and all the sights and sounds will be treasured in my heart all the rest of my days. I’m thankful for the blessing of photos, souvenirs, and the ability to close my eyes to return again and again to a beautiful land halfway around the world.

Official Book Cover for “Warrior In Pink!”

Posted on May 3, 2013 by vivianmabuni

I’m experiencing one of those “shout it from the mountain top” moments. This morning my editor at Discover House Publishers send me the long awaited book cover for “Warrior In Pink.”

In her words,

We fell in love with this cover immediately. It’s elegant and feminine but not overly so. We kept the pink to a minimum. The cherry blossoms speak to your Asian-American heritage, as well as the themes of fragility, strength, legacy, renewal, and beauty. The light bento box** serves as a focal point. It cradles one of the blossoms, making that blossom set apart and special (a metaphor that can be applied to each reader). Finally, the dark wood background makes for strong contrasts and gives the book presence and visual weight.

I am beyond thrilled. Having a book cover I would be excited about was such an important piece of this book writing process.

**I was just made aware the box is actually a masu box, used in Japan long ago to measure rice. Now used in modern times for drinking sake (cheers!). The Japanese word masu translates to “growth.” I love the layers of meaning…

Please help spread the word. This book thing is really, truly happening….

First Book Endorsement

Posted on April 17, 2013 by vivianmabuni

I’m sick. The 101.2 fever finally broke sometime in the night, but I’m still achy and my head feels like it’s going to explode. I’ve spent most of the day and night and day asleep. Both Michael and I came down with the virus Julia had last week. Darrin, my hero doctor, nurse, cook, shopper and cleaner has been taking care of all three of us.

It shouldn’t surprise me. This illness is coming days before Leila and I leave for Central Asia. Fifty women, the largest group to date, will be coming together for their annual women’s conference. The group is composed of missionaries from different organizations, teachers, business people, expats, and even some nationals who don’t speak English. Your prayers for us and our families are greatly appreciated as we continue to prepare to leave. I will write more about this trip later.

Probably the biggest highlight for me this week was receiving my first official book endorsement!! Robin Lee Hatcher, award winning author of 70 books, had originally decided to turn down endorsement requests for the rest of 2013. When she heard my book was about cancer, she decided to make an exception. Her encouragement through her emails has been a tremendous blessing to me. I couldn’t wait to share the endorsement here with you!

When a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer, she is thrust into a foreign world. Most, like me, look for information that will help them navigate their new reality. Warrior in Pink is just the book I wish I’d been able to find. Vivian Mabuni writes with transparency, warmth, and depth, and I believe all who read her special insights will be blessed and encouraged.

~ Robin Lee Hatcher, author of A Promise Kept (January 2014) and Beloved (September 2013)

Doorknobs and Unexpected Opportunities

Posted on April 9, 2013 by vivianmabuni

I met Elisa Morgan at my first Synergy Conference in 2010. I sat in one of her seminars as she taught out of the books of Acts. She took off her shoe and used it to illustrate an Alexandrian ship; a type of slow moving barge the apostle Paul probably sailed on in Acts chapter 27. Her ability to keep the entire room engaged during the dreaded after-lunch-when-people-are-apt-to-doze-off spot, her brilliant handling of God’s Word, her fabulous taste in shoes, her willingness to share her weaknesses, and her deep devotion to God drew me in spellbound. I understood first hand why Elisa is such a sought after leader and teacher. The Publisher of FullFill™, a free digital magazine for women of all ages, stages and callings, her current mission is to mobilize women to invest their influence in God’s purposes. She previously gave leadership to MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers) International and helped grow the ministry to become a recognized household name across the country. She recently joined the Women of Faith teaching team, and continues to influence women all around the world.

I sheepishly approached her between meetings and asked her for advice and counsel regarding the writing/publishing world. She warmly replied, “Just keep jiggling the door knobs. Don’t force your way trying to push through the doors, but trust God will open the right doors. Your job is to keep jiggling to see which doors are open.” I tucked her words away in my mind with arms frozen by my side. Looking down the corridor of closed doors, I didn’t feel qualified to even try jiggling.

A couple months later Elisa asked her editor at Fulfill to contact me to find out if I would be willing to write a short article for the Summer 2010 issue.

I was floored.

Elisa opened a door for me. She modeled for me what it looks like for a more experienced leader to help, encourage and believe in an insecure, unsure, unqualified, leader-in-the-making. Her words and actions came at a time when I most needed assurance. Leadership is more than a title or role. Leadership is also about opening doors of opportunity and clearing the way for new leaders to grow and flourish. Leadership is exercised not only in planning meetings, but also lived out day to day in unexpected opportunities.

My hope is to be a generous leader like Elisa in helping encourage women to jiggle doorknobs and open doors where I can. My hope is to keep my hands open, and like Elisa, remember God’s Kingdom is bigger than what I’m involved with in my little corner. Kingdom building is an all-play, requiring all of me and all of you, to give all to Him.

Here’s the article below.

Helpful reminder from the article for me today:

“Even on my worst days as a mom, wife, friend and daughter….being here makes a difference.”

To view the latest edition of Fulfill on the theme of Courage and subscribe to this free e-magazine, click here. Every issue is filled with thought provoking articles.

The Wilderness: Life Post Active Treatment for Cancer

Posted on April 2, 2013 by vivianmabuni

Sometimes after I speak, in the quiet of the car as I drive home, I review in my mind the happenings of the day. I picture the faces of the women who have come up to talk with me. If they express appreciation, I try to graciously receive each gift of encouraging words like a wildflower. Then, in the quiet of the car, I present to God my little bouquet of wildflowers as a thanksgiving offering. I remember reading Nazi concentration camp survivor, Corrie Ten Boom, presenting her flowers of thanksgiving and decided to adopt the same practice.

All things with Him, through Him, by Him and for Him.

(My lovely niece, Angel. And yes. All my nieces are stunning.)

Usually, after presenting the flowers of thanksgiving, I review my talk. And most of the time I come up with a few things I wish I would have shared or elaborated on more. This past Good Friday, after sharing my cancer journey with the women at NewSong Church in Irvine, I thought about the first 18 months following active treatment. I called it the wandering wilderness time. Looking back, I wished I would have taken more time to encourage the women with these words:

The year and a half following active treatment (surgeries, chemo and radiation) was a time of confusion and bewilderment. All of the delayed emotions I had stuffed in order to make it through the physical demands of treatment finally surfaced. I felt lost. Unsure. Wobbly. I related to the Israelites in the Old Testament who wandered 40 years in the desert after escaping Egypt. God provided in ways unlike anything they had experienced pre-wilderness. Sweet manna was available morning by morning for them to gather and eat, quail dropped from the sky after they complained about missing meat, and when they could not locate a water source to quench their thirst, God provided water from rocks. Their shoes never wore out. They followed God’s lead by following a pillar of fire at night and a cloud during the day. Following the wilderness time these provisions were discontinued. The Israelites would learn to trust and obey God through different means after they entered the land.

The wilderness time was a unique time but not the final destination. God never intended the Israelites live as nomad wanderers. He was clear from the beginning when He promised Abraham the land. Moses was tasked to lead God’s people to the promised land. Joshua and Caleb surveyed the land and reported back the land God promised was all God said and more. The wandering time was a detour time. The wilderness was only for a time.

The story did not end with walking in circles.

I was reminded the cancer, post cancer wandering time was not the ultimate destination. It was for a time even though at the time it seemed like it would never end. I’ve experienced other wilderness type times. I’ve had dry and desert like periods in my spiritual life. Showing up to read my Bible was void of exciting, new insights, and I felt like a worker on an assembly line going through the motions. Prayers seemed unanswered or bounced off the ceiling. I imagine the Israelites had times when the manna grew mundane. As a young mom, I remember the same sensations of feeling confused, unsure and wobbly. The day in and day out of caring for little ones seemed unending. I felt like I was walking, and sometimes stumbling, in circles.

Looking back, God was able to redeem the wilderness time. He used the wilderness to teach lessons I would have otherwise missed. Trees develop stronger root systems when forced deeper underground to find water. I’ve noticed strength of character is forged through the wilderness times. The daily acts of faithfully showing up to gather spiritual food, the willingness to break down camp and move whenever and wherever the pillar of fire moved, and the wandering in the wilderness builds resolve. God uses the wilderness to strengthen, refine and surface what truly fills our hearts.

The biggest gift from the wilderness is the realization God was WITH the Israelites. He is with you and me. He reveals Himself and we learn to trust God in ways unlike “bountiful land” times when we walk in and through the wilderness.

Perhaps you are currently in a wilderness time. I want to encourage you to not lose heart. The wilderness is only for a time. The wilderness is not the final destination. I want to encourage you with the truth that God is WITH you and has not abandoned you to walk the wilderness on your own. Don’t give up.

How about you? What are some of the lessons you have learned in the wilderness?

Midnight. Death and the Cornerstone of my Faith

Posted on March 28, 2013 by vivianmabuni

I lifted this off my CaringBridge site. I wrote this around Easter time while in the middle of chemo treatments. Death, pain, tears and the ought-not-be’s and why Easter makes all the difference.

Michael, our twelve year old, has been the proud owner of three hamsters. Most summers we are away on some type of summer mission trip or training time, so it hasn’t been conducive for us to be dog owners. The kids have had their share of pet fish, pet caterpillars, and some of you remember “Jewels,” Julia’s “pet” pumpkin. Well, we decided to turn the corner and enter the land of mammals by giving Michael a hamster for Christmas several years ago.

Hammy, our first hamster, died from an accident pretty early on. Then Teddy joined our fold. She was a great Mensa genius escape hamster. We would duct tape down the opening of her cage, and somehow she would still mysteriously escape. Twice we found her downstairs in the guest bathroom trashcan. She was discovered at different times in the master bedroom, the TV room, and under the stove. We never could figure out how she managed to get down the stairs! Those who watched our hamster for us while we were out of town had their own stories of her amazing Houdini antics in their own homes. One day, after escaping for the hundredth time, she never returned home. I thought at one point this past October she returned after two and a half years, but it turned out to be a rat. I’ll save that story for another time.

More time passed and we adopted Midnight at Christmas two years ago. Midnight was completely black and a very sweet hamster. Michael did a great job taking care of her and training her. On a Friday night last March, during a Not-So-Small-Group meeting in our home, Michael called me up to his room in tears. Midnight stopped moving and looked dead. Darrin was away at an Elder’s Retreat. I called him. Through choppy phone reception we decided I would take Midnight to Animal Urgent Care.

It was our first time visiting Animal Urgent Care. After waiting a long, long time the vet came out to us and explained they couldn’t figure out what was wrong. She explained that for $500 they could run more tests, but it wouldn’t guarantee MIdnight’s recovery. Her voice was matter of fact, but her eyes showed compassion as she explained to us Midnight was suffering and probably wouldn’t make it through the night. We needed to decide if we would put her down. I tried explaining what all this meant to Michael, but I don’t think he fully grasped what was going on. He and I agreed it was better to not let Midnight suffer anymore. It was a brutal decision. After they put her down, they brought Midnight back to us wrapped in a towel inside her travel cage. Michael hugged the cage close and sobbed. I sobbed, too.

After we got home, Michael asked to sleep in the TV room. I decided to join him. He had a restless night of sleep and would wake up crying. Michael was not a big fan of hugs. Even as a baby, he didn’t enjoy cuddling much. But on this night, each time he woke up crying, I would go over and hold him and cry with him–and he let me.

Death, grief, sorrow, separation…and the heart of a parent whose heart breaks with her child. We were not created to experience these things. This is why it is still unnatural and uncomfortable when we rub up against things that ought-not-be. Cancer and other illnesses fits in this category, too.

This Easter weekend, I am reminded how God’s heart breaks when He sees what ought not be. As I head into another round of chemo this week, I am reminded God’s love for me is fierce and compassionate. And like I was with Michael in the TV room, God will be with me. He will hold me and cries with me in my pain and discomfort.

I am also reminded this Easter how God’s perfect plan righted the wrongs and the ought-not-be’s. The hinge point of my faith rests on the truth that Jesus rose from the dead.

“and if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is vain, your faith also is vain…and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is worthless; you are still in your sins. If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are all men most to be pitied. But now Christ has been raised from the dead,” (I Corinthians 15:14, 17, 19, 20).

If Jesus was merely a good teacher, and did not prove He was God by raising from the dead, then it’s true: my faith is worthless, I would still be separated from God because of my sin. Most to be pitied.

But now Christ has been raised from the dead…

And so we celebrate hope, new life, and a time coming soon when there will be no more tears, death, crying, sadness, pain.

Happy Easter to you and yours…

Mount Hermon Writers Conference: One Year Later

Posted on March 21, 2013 by vivianmabuni

My eyes keep scanning the feed on twitter and Facebook for updates. Incredible people who were strangers last year, but have now grown to become friends, are descending today on hallowed ground surrounded by towering redwood trees. They will enjoy time, deep in the Santa Cruz mountains, connecting with God and each other over the art of crafting words. The cover photo on my Facebook page of the redwood trees was taken outside my cabin last year at the Mount Hermon Writers Conference.

And though I sit here, tapping away on the keyboard at my dining room table, with faithful canine sleeping nearby, my heart is up north. In my mind I picture the pathways, the dining hall, the fire place, the spots where conversations with just the right people at just the right time took place. Gratitude and awe for all God has done since last year at this time.

I’ve met remarkable people over the course of this past year who steward well the gift of painting pictures with words. They have been generous, kind, helpful and inspiring. I pray to be a blessing to others like they have been to me.

Special thank you and shout-out to these highlights from Mount Hermon folks I met last year:

Janneke Jobsis Brown, helpful buddy who answered dozens of my newbie questions and encouraged me to pursue application to the non-fiction mentoring track
Karen O’Connor, who accepted me into the mentoring track on the last possible date and took time to meet and encourage me
Steve Laube (President of the Steve Laube Agency). So humbled to be agented by this incredible literary agency.
Karen Ball–literary agent extraordinaire.
Sara Baysinger–roommate and soon to be mama!
Mary DeMuth–her initial blog about MH was what first started the ball rolling. Her open-handed posture for helping writers at every stage of their publishing journey has been refreshing and one I hope to adopt.
Jan Kern–incredibly skilled intermediate writing mentoring track mentor leader, coach
fellow MH authors/writers: Erin Taylor Young, Gillian Marchenko, Kim Van Brunt, Bethany Macklin, Cheri Williams, Susanne Lakin, and many, many other gifted wordsmiths.

Our life journey is full of twists and turns. Writing, for me, was a completely unexpected twist and turn. Grateful God calls us to travel together. Grateful He allowed my path to cross with each of these lover of words. Grateful for their example.

Eyes up and out.

I wonder: what will life look like next year at this time?? One thing for certain–God willing, I will be up at the Mount Hermon Writer’s Conference again next year at this time.

Use Whatcha Got Weeks 9-11: Change the World Party Follow Up

Posted on March 14, 2013 by vivianmabuni

“Completely on her own, she dedicated her 11th birthday to helping others. Rather than amassing more stuff, she directed all her birthday gifts to help the less fortunate. It sure would be nice if You would work it out for us to win the lottery to get orchestra seats for $25 for the Wicked musical. It’s something she would LOVE, it’s something over the top we normally wouldn’t be able to afford. I would see it as a gift from You. A “well done, atta-girl”–a perfect way to top off her birthday celebration.”

I prayed silently, without sharing my thoughts with her, with Darrin, with anyone. I didn’t tweet or post on Facebook asking others to pray with me. I just prayed and held my breath.

She finished homework in record time, got dressed, packed her purse with treats and we stopped off at Cold Stone and used a gift card I rediscovered in one of my many, many, MANY piles….probably a great trove of other untold treasures still yet to be unearthed await me!

We drove into the parking structure and found perfect parking. Stood in line. Only 20 others in front of us. Twenty orchestra seats would be given out to the winners of the lottery. We were accustomed to waiting and standing in line. Our hope level was high. We made friends with the person in front of us and the ladies behind us. They had all tried for the lottery several times, but had never won. We reconnected with a mom and her daughter we recognized from a baseball team Michael was on when he was in elementary school. When the half hour was up and everyone gathered for the announcement of the winners, my heart sank as I looked around us. Easily 250 people stood waiting and hoping for the same outcome. Ten names were called. We were not among the ten.

We ventured down to the box office to see if any seats were still available. Only one seat remained.

I stroked her thick, blackish-brownish silky hair,

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out. It’s such a bummer we didn’t win. Since we are out, would you be interested in seeing “Les Mis?” It’s showing not too far from here.”

She smiled and nodded.

She had asked to see the movie when it first came out Christmas day after I shared with her it was my favorite musical. I waited and polled several of my mom friends after they saw the movie to find out if the subject matter surrounding Fantine was too mature. We both knew there was one scene where she would need to cover her eyes.

Back in the car, on the way to the movie theatre, Julia asked me to share the story of “Les Miserable.” My words spilled out with increasing fervor as I shared the story of how grace can transform a person’s life; of the parallels of the Gospel when Jesus lays down His life for those He loves and how the same theme is played out with Jean Valjean, Fantine, and Eponine. The choices they make in the story came out of the selfless place of genuine love. I contrasted how Javert could not allow himself to receive the gift of grace, which, just like the Law, led to death. I shared about the silver candlesticks and what little I knew about the French Revolution.

We settled into a nice table for a quick bite to eat at the Nordstrom Cafe. Julia looked around with a sincere and grateful attitude and smiled,

“Mom, this place is really nice. The food is really delicious. I’m glad for this time with you.”

We finished up our dinner and walked to the movie theatre. Like everything else at the Fashion Island mall in Newport Beach, the movie theatre looked posh and expensive. Our hearts sank again when we learned they served wine in the movie theatre so no one under 21 could be admitted. We had no way of knowing. The gentleman behind the counter apologized and pulled out a list of other nearby movie theaters.

I quickly scanned the sheet and saw the movie was playing at the UC Irvine campus. We had just enough time to make it.

When we arrived in the theatre, every single seat was empty. We had the whole theatre to ourselves. Eventually three others joined us. We watched. We wept a bit. When the movie ended she leaned backed and sighed,

“Wow. That was an amazing story.”

I shared with her in the car,

“Julia, this side of heaven you won’t know exactly how your gifts helped others, but I trust that the projects you selected are going to help families and will keep some in real life from having to be like Fantine in the movie. I am so proud of you.”

Through the generosity of Julia’s family and friends she was able to donate nearly $400 to the Hope Venture. One of her friends even gave five weeks of her allowance to the Hope Venture. Julia’s birthday helped provide:

17 blankets for those in Northern India where the cold weather has been the cause of death
6 goats for widows or families in Narok, Kenya, who have been ravished by drought in recent years
16 sari’s for widows living in the slums of India
3 “mama’s kits” for mothers in Uganda. Thousands of children become orphans because women die during childbirth. The mama kit contains everything needed to help provide a clean and safe delivery.

I think the story of Les Mis, more than the story of Wicked, fits with what Julia intended for her birthday. God has used Julia to challenge and teach me what it means to live out a life of compassion and generosity. I’m inspired by her life and her choices. Sometimes in life, our prayers seem to go unanswered. But I trust that God’s bigger purposes are being accomplished even when we don’t understand.

P.S. For those of you following Use Whatcha Got, there’s not much to report. I’m holding strong these past three weeks. Enjoying what I have, and gaining increasing gratitude for the sheer abundance of our blessings. How about you?