Everyone Needs A Prisca

Everyone needs a Prisca.

Someone who takes the time to truly listen and understand the struggles of the heart.

Someone who models an authentic life of faith and grace and prayer.

Someone who has survived the current life stage you are seeking to navigate.

Everyone needs a Prisca.

Someone who believes wholeheartedly in the goodness of God and lives for eternal things unseen.

Someone who reminds us the ministry is unending, but the window interacting with our own children is small. And taking time to be good to ourselves is crucial.

Someone who applauds steps of faith and prays diligently. And then prays some more.

Everyone needs a Prisca.

Someone who is humble, a learner, compassionate, and incredibly, incredibly wise.

Someone who doesn’t fix problems, but knows how to hold emotions.

Someone to model after because they so reflect the heart of God.

Everyone needs a Prisca.

Someone who is mature, who speaks words of hope, who knows how to laugh at herself.

Someone who helps restore perspective.

Someone who loves well.


Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith. (Hebrews 13:7) 

I have six names written in the margin of my Bible next to this verse. Prisca is one of them. I’ve been blessed to know her for twenty years. She is one of my heroes of the faith.

Who do you have written on the margin of your Bible?

Who has your name written in theirs?

Hatwalk Follow Up and Guest Post

The days have been full. I am earnestly seeking to finish writing the book by Thanksgiving in order to not go into the holidays all crazy. Well, not more crazy added to the normal crazy.

The Hatwalk Gala event was as incredible as the hotel it was hosted in. What an impressive and extensive labor of love. It was a blessing to see 700 guests dressed to the nines, supporting and giving so generously to help others battling cancer. The evening wrapped up with a powerful visual of the purpose behind the Hatwalk. We watched a stream of beautiful women of all ages, all cancer survivors, take to the catwalk modeling various hats. We cheered each of them on with grateful tears in our eyes. The strength and courage they exuded caused the bright runway lights to seem dim in comparison.

I spent most of the weekend giddy–romping around my room in the signature Fairmont hotel robe, trying to act all writer-like. Leila’s sister, Jacqui, was able to connect me with a hair and makeup person who came to my room Saturday afternoon to perform a magic transformation act. She used some kind of silicone based spray on foundation, then dipped her extensive array of brushes into rows and rows and trays and trays of Mac make-up. False eyelashes, a billion bobby pins and hairspray, hairspray, hairspray followed by instructions to not lie down, not nap, or cry, rub my eyes, move, and to use cold spoons to take down the puffiness under my eyes.

This was the final outcome:

It actually was a huge blessing to have the time away. The gals from a freshman Bible study I led back in 1989, when I first worked at the Cal campus, gifted me with an additional night at the Fairmont so I could focus on writing the book. The beautiful environment somehow helped to break through a mental barrier which moved me ahead significantly in my writing. I have two chapters left to write and then two appendices. My amazing agent, who happens to also be an amazing editor, will go over this first draft before I turn it in to the editor at the publishing house. We are nearing the end of part one in the writing marathon and I am starting to hear the faint sound of Taiko drums in my heart.

I was invited by my friend and fellow Redbud writer, Natasha, to guest post and share part of my journey as an Asian-American. You can read the post here. It’s a two-part interview which is part of a series she has been writing on racial reconciliation. Hope you will pop over to check it out.




Don’t Confuse Harmony With Intimacy

She was walked down an aisle–the aisle, scattered with colorful fall leaves by a dad who prayed for her and for that moment from the time she was born. The sky was brilliant blue. Her mom and dad, both godly and faithful, gave her away. Family and friends watched with misty eyes as vows were shared and the symbolic two color sand was poured into the vase. Layer upon layer the sand represented lives impossible to separate. The supernatural exchange when two becomes one. Every detail had been attended to, and both the bride and groom, like every bride and groom through the ages, entered this new chapter of life with every intention of a marriage that would stand the test of time.

Just weeks earlier a group of women, young and old, sat in a beautiful home and lavished gifts of kitchen supplies for her home and advice for her heart. One by one we shared out of our experience and our hopes for her future with her soon-to-be husband.

This is a paraphrased version of what I remember sharing:

Don’t confuse harmony with intimacy.* Marriage is hands down the hardest relationship you will ever experience. Just because two people love God and each other doesn’t make for an automatically “good” marriage. It takes work and intentionality. You may be tempted to “just  get along” and think that you have a good marriage. The danger of pursuing harmony is that getting along may be at the expense of sharing what you want, what you need and most important who you REALLY are. A good marriage is one that is marked by intimacy. Intimacy is knowing and being known deeply. And it’s messy. It often involves conflict. And vulnerability. It’s risky. Humbling. Sometimes scary. It takes an investment of TIME to listen, untangle, explore, understand, reconcile. But intimacy is incredibly worthwhile. Your marriage is worth fighting for. True harmony comes from the hard work of pursuing intimacy. Don’t settle for short cuts.

And so the challenge for them, for me, for us, is to pursue intimacy in our relationships. Invest the time, the hard work of knowing and being known. A relationship book I have found to be helpful and recommend highly is “How We Love” by Milan and Kay Yerkovich.

What are your thoughts about harmony and intimacy?

*I’ve been sharing this little nugget at bridal showers the last two years. Truth is, it was Leila (of the Awesome Threesome) that came up with the initial idea. She is ever wise in the relationship department. I have taken her thoughts and elaborated a bit and then woven in some of my own. But trust me, if you want incredible relational insight, seek this amazing woman out. I can’t tell you how my life has been enriched because of her wisdom, example, and deep love for God. Those of you privileged to know her can attest to these truths.

This post is dedicated to Mr. and Mrs. Matt and Nicole Harrelson with love and prayers. May you enjoy a marriage that enjoys true harmony because of deep intimacy….